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released April 15, 2017

PBFM is Jacob Lee and Patrick Hogan.
Logo by Zero Lopez.

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Patrick D. Hogan Fresno, California

The musical attempts of Patrick D. Hogan & co.

PlasticBag FaceMask- ChaosDeathMath

¯\_(ツ)_/¯- PostPunkHardcore

Time Bomb- HeavyUglyMath

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Track Name: I Could Launch a Cyber-Nuke
The day you buried me I thought I had met my end. Drowning in the soil, I spent my days clawing for the surface, trying to find my way back. You tried to wash away who I once was. Saturated, I could feel the strength return. Loneliness knew no bounds when the sun hit my face for the first time. Built atop the ruins of my past selves, I stand and prepare. Feet planted firmly, this is my home. I have built in you a place to become everything I could have ever been. Foes ripped from their families, I flourish. The blood that pumps through my veins, sweet and sticky, will never stain the dirt. I have refused defeat. Mother Earth, in all her grace, has gifted me the phoenix blessing. I have risen from the failures of others and stand, fire-proof, soaking in your power. You may perceive me as small, inconsequential, but it is through your apathy that you will be left in my wake. I have dug deep into the earth, taking all I can. A diamond in the rough, I eat the words of those who surround me and feast upon their failures. My face to the sky, I can only get stronger, and though I saw your birth, you will never see my death. You will never witness my end.
Track Name: Peggy Baldwin
A strange feeling, looking at the sky
As if through the cheap, broken blinds
Of a household with too many cats
And too few windows

All of whom wish to see outside
And dream of the feral freedoms they once had
Annihilating plastic that to them means nothing
All to relive a world they don’t remember

A strange feeling, when you realize
The sky brings rain as well as the sun
You could see from a distance
An occasional glance to confirm

Assumptions from only a partial picture
Disconnected from them, now, you, too, are feral,
As you dreamed to be; locked out in the rain,
Aching joints from the change in pressure

Alone, you’ll see the sun again

A piece of you I will never see
It's a strange feeling
A piece of me I will never show
It's a strange feeling

Barely room to breathe. Underneath it all

Waterless river
Still skipping stones
Flows all the same
Before sinking below

Faceless friend
Stream of consciousness
Ambience fills the room
Atmosphere thickens

There’s a taste in my mouth
And an ache in my throat
Metallic and throbbing
Emotion rubbed raw

Vibrations from the slightest touch
The softest niche
Souls spread black on paper
Accent for a one language

I used to think I’d known loneliness until the day I truly did

Barely room to breathe.
Underneath it all.

Barely room to breathe
Artificial.
Underneath it all.
Nothing left.
Barely room to breathe
Waters red.
Underneath it all.
Escape.
Alone, you will see the sun again
And relish in the idea that your light is no longer artificial

A piece of you I will never see
It's a strange feeling
A piece of me I will never show
It's a strange feeling

Barely room to breathe. Underneath it all
Track Name: Redefine the Coast Line
Sunday morning and I can still smell your hair on the pillow
Sunday morning and I can still taste the regret from your lips
Sunday morning and I can still feel your fingers shake
Sunday morning and I can still hear your heart beat
Sunday morning

You thought you could control me
You've never been more mistaken
I tried my best to push you away
but you couldn't be left alone
I tried to remove you so many times
The faces I see when I close my eyes
Aren't the same as when they're open
When they're open

So sink into the sheets
The sun will never grace
Your hair through this
Window again
You'll clean the stains you left behind
And take them to the other side

I'm not your perfect little doll
You're the only one here made from plastic

I'm not who you wish I was
I am so much worse

So soak into the sheets and I will burn these memories of us

I'd rather you left me on my own

Than left me to your devices
Trust I'll come with the force of a thousand armies
Trust you've never felt a
Power like mine

So sink into the sheets
The sun will never grace
Your hair through this
Window again
You'll clean the stains you left behind
And take them to the other side
Don't fall asleep without one eye open
You don't know when I will strike
You best be afraid, child
Violence in my words
Violence when I speak

You will feel me
I promise that
Kill off the species
Stay calm
Keep breathing
Witness this
Genocide
Our bodies are
Only temporary
It's time for you
To surrender yours
To a higher power
It's not what you lack
It's what we can gain
Know how it feels
To truly be afraid

Take a chance with me
Take a chance with me
Feel
Take a chance with me
Helpless
Take a chance with me
Empty
Take a chance with me
Take a chance with me
Track Name: I Am the Parentheses
Have not seen the sun for days anything but sludge forever climbing grinding my teeth sharp

Choking back the nerves.
Finally emerge
Blinded by a new world
The air is full of loathing.
The first step out
marks the beginning of the end.
Nothing must be left alive.
Nothing to be left uncollected.
Waters turn red.
Infrastructure crushed.
Obstacles surpassed.
Eyes to the stars.
Never stop moving.
Arms extended,
Hands opened wide
Until the goal was taken away, again and again. Escape.
A brighter place appears ahead.
Pure and free.
Jump inside.
Eyes to the stars. When the veil is gone, the world becomes the same as before.
It returns, an endless loop.
Dream

Blind leaps of
faith and treks
through the dark
muck just a
puppet on
frail strings
with a blade
too dull to

free himself.
Working on
Changes
Down here
Just in case

This is the difference between what I feel I've earned
What I feel is mine
And what I feel I deserve

Travel through
Time and space
Let me see
Let me taste
Missing you
Wishing to
As if I
Could ever

Travel through my body and mind
Time and space have left me behind
Let me see inside the places you abandoned me
Let me taste your sea
Missing you for the same reasons I hated myself
Wishing to realize the things I never felt
As if I deserve more
Could ever be your final removal from the reality
You still crave
Track Name: Featuring Jonny Craig Owens
Watch out the claws they tear and rip skin,
delicate leave it in one piece,
Eddy and Billy take your face and parade a flag,
they smile and bathe as you lay there just a martyr empty on the outside, wondering if this was your fate since you were born.

The purge rats dance over a flame, trading masks and licking lips, hands atop a book abridged a thousand times.

I’ve never minded
the things I could not hold
Over my head
The sounds of working
Muscles and bitter skin
The day I bit through my tongue
Is the day
I tore out my teeth
Because I told myself
Never to smile at the thought of you
It’s better to choke in the dirt
Than to drown in the snow
If my feet are carrying
Me home
Is there such a thing as the wrong road?
It’s the child’s voice who doesn’t know that life is still suffering
And the elder voice who refuses to spoil the surprise
I’ve made too many friends whose faces I can't recognize

You have played the role of two on a stage with no audition,
All the cast took their bow, joining those who paid admission,
They watch you writhe alone deep inside.
You have played the role of two pushing one into submission,
All the cast scream their mind, diagnose a wrong condition.
They all feel fine, clutching foolish pride

Leave me be, just leave me be.

Held down, given no room to grow.
Ribs break and you're gasping for air.
The pack rots in its old ideals
then hunts when smells blood
Their curses cut deep through yesterday's scars.
The claws can't keep out of someone else's life.

You have played the role of two on a stage with no audition,
All the cast took their bow, joining those who paid admission,
They watch you writhe alone deep inside.
You have played the role of two pushing one into submission,
All the cast scream their mind, diagnose a wrong condition.
They all feel fine, clutching foolish pride

Raised in the wrong home,
Mind a twister
Do your best to forget me,
I am not who you know
Track Name: Whoop Whoop Get Back In the Van!
The sadness in your eyes
Like the children we pass on the street
And ignoring their empty styrofoam cups
As they beg for money
And beg for change
So when you told me not to come home
All I could think was, at least I have a home I can leave

The Summer rain always tasted cleaner
You know it's not in the words you say
But the space inbetween
The silences you let fester
I've been searching for anything to tell me
Anything at all

And who will take my place
In my bed when I'm away?
And who will take my seat at the table?
And who will notice when
My bones betray my skin
And who will make me leave when I'm unable?

I regret everything I remember
And I never forget
I thought I would miss your waves
Until I remembered how it felt to drown
I know all the words you never bothered to say
Are all the words I needed to hear

Scratch at the walls until your fingers turn blue
You know we'll turn our heads

And who will take my place
In my bed when I'm away?
And who will take my seat at the table?
And who will notice when
My bones betray my skin
And who will make me leave when I'm unable?

And who will take my place
In my bed when I'm away?
And who will take my seat at the table?
And who will notice when
My bones betray my skin
And who will make me leave when I'm unable?

Wait
This isn't the place
This isn't home
This is no place at all
Wait
This isn't the time
This watch isn't mine
The hands point me in the wrong directions
Wait
This isn't my mind
I've seen the insides
The wheels turn, but I still can't navigate
Wait
This isn't the map
I've never been so lost
Spit the gravel to make the roads
Wait
This isn't my heart
The way it used to beat
I've never felt so hollow
Wait
These aren't my muscles
I feel weak
I can feel the weight of it all
Wait
These aren't my words
I'd never speak this way
I can't hear my own voice anymore
Wait
I've felt this before
The tremors you give
That rattle my bones and boil me

When you take it make sure you take it all
When you fail, make sure you remember the fall
Nothing will ever change the way you want
Until long after you're gone
I've never flown across the world
But I've still watched the sun set from the flight
I've tasted the salt the of the ocean
And missed you more each passing night
Track Name: Why Can't I Build Things?
Far from myself, I see
The crooked bones that support me
My body's weight in thievery
And restlessness

The blood's stains
The blood's lust

The gold on your eyes makes your lids heavy

But this is what we accept
Ignore the elephant in the room

The giants and the mammoths that parade their way
Through your dreams until you invite them to stay
Water, filthy, shivers down your throat

Sitting at your feet I see the stains on your shoes
And your jacket stretched from the coins in your pocket
That reach for the ground in hopes of freedom
I tug at your pant leg
And untie your laces

And tried to be the man you were
Until I became the man I am

And realized how wrong you were
You should have covered your insides
So I never had the chance to spill your guts
But now the floor is riddled with your intestines

And I can
follow the
trail out the door
I don't know
if there was
a right way
to do this
But I was

Sick, sick, sick of doing it your way.
Sick, sick

Far from myself, I see
The crooked bones that support me
My body's weight in thievery
And restlessness

I never thought I would lose you to my own hang ups
But I am not the fool here
I never pretended when I told you I loved you
I stopped saying it because I did not want to start pretending

I'm not the actor here
I'm not the poisonous

You wore me as a trophy
That you won despite yourself

But you paraded it so much the plastic began to break away
The gold paint began to peel

So all that's left is an empty foundation
That reads, "World's Best Dad"