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PlasticBag FaceMask x Mazakari

by Patrick D. Hogan

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1.
You fed me all those little lines And made me feel welcome And made me feel good Because you know I sabotage myself And you know when I lose you it will be my fault And you know I haven’t felt happy And you know I’ve been sad and scared And there’s no cure for what I am But it’s not too late for you I’m emotionally prepared For the day the birds Don’t come around anymore But it won’t hurt any less Because on that day I will long for the sky And the tops of the trees And wish you were still here To show me these things Maybe sometime Some years from now You will see something funny Or see someone else cry And for an instant I will flash through your mind Before you forget my name And forget my face And smile  knowing you don’t know anymore Have you ever seen shadows in a dark room Those creeping empty intrusive thoughts That never fail to keep me up at night Until I finally agree to go to sleep
2.
These are the words of a failure A recluse sunk deep inside Shed the skins of every past life And watch their ashes float to the sky Can you count the stars each night Do you think they notice you Will you feed off me like I feed off the sun I haven’t felt this empty in a long time And that pressure behind your eyes When you know that nothing will be alright For the rest of the day For the rest of my life These are the words of a failure A recluse sunk deep inside Overpaying rent for a liminal space I am busy moving mountains while you are only moving goalposts Visit me in my sleep Visit my hospital bed Visit my grave An eagle eye When trying to find The value in others But blinded when I look inward Scar tissue too thick And run the risk Of reopening the wound I rescued myself from in the first place I’ve ground my teeth to a powder Just to make a point Can’t unclench  my jawhave  to bite the hand
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about

credits

released May 28, 2021

Artwork by Swankiller.
Mixed and mastered by Jacob Lee.

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Patrick D. Hogan Fresno, California

The musical attempts of Patrick D. Hogan & co.

PlasticBag FaceMask- ChaosDeathMath

Time Bomb- HeavyUglyMath

:)Bookburner!- HeavyUglyMath with a different vocalist
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