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Existence Precedes Essence

from Exegesis by Time Bomb

/

lyrics

The water in my lungs can fight and fray away the angel’s wings. The current flows away from the cities that have burned. I know the ocean floor can bring me peace the world’s never seen. Eternal sleep can bring me dreams to know the things I never learned.

I’ll only say this once, so please, listen closely. My friends, in the event of a self-proclaimed miracle, what you may call a tragedy, these are the only words you need to know. Every word I write delves into my mind, maybe a little too deeply, and I use this to try to ease some pain. Like pressure on a valve, I have to release something before I blow, but I’m getting more and more backed up as the years go on. This is my mindset and it has been for a while. I can’t stand most aspects of life. Everything has become an equation. Nothing is worth the time of day and nobody even owns a watch anymore. I can’t sit idly by and accept the things you feed me, even if it is with a silver spoon. There is no God. There is no Love. There is no Sin. There is nothing you can own that someone else won’t try to sell you. I’m laying my intestines on the table waiting for someone to tell me I don’t have enough guts to spill. Every day I’m told it gets better, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s synonymous with death. I’m looking down from this precipice so afraid that I’ll jump, but I really like the view. Sometimes I pray that you’ll just push me. I can remember a time I didn’t feel this way, but I can’t remember a time that I was ever truly happy. Believe me when I tell you, this isn’t a cry for attention. This is just a plea for understanding. Some lives aren’t worth living. I honestly hope yours is.

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from Exegesis, released April 1, 2015

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Patrick D. Hogan Fresno, California

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Time Bomb- HeavyUglyMath

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