1. |
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Lights on, get up, teeth brushed, put your makeup on.
Set the stage, wear a face, convince everyone. Convince everyone.
Gear up, punch in, big grin, show them what you've got.
Set the stage, wear a face, convince everyone. Convince everyone.
Yeah, alchemist, take a gift and turn it into a chore.
Going out of your way to do what people dream for.
Set the bar, set your sights, so high up you break your neck.
Sun in your eyes, gleam in a tear, sparkles like your teeth.
Sun in your eyes, gleam in a tear, sparkles like a vampire.
Some have standards, some don't care, others take all they get.
Phantom food chain, more for you to gain, set yourself apart.
Sham, wow, canned soup, instant coffee, cookie cutter, microwave delight.
Take charge, be a boss, your own hours, gas card, wanna start a fight.
Choke, choke, choke, choke, choke on your bubblegum.
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2. |
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Don't you see
Miss America walks with me
But don't doubt her mystery
You know she could be you
False envy
I've spit the seeds of your jealousy
They stole the color from the leaves
And taught us dead is the new true
Sailed the ocean blue or the River Styx?
Built a house made from blood-stained bricks
We blemished her gown now the colors all mix
She hasn't worn white since ‘76
The orange king with his empty crown
Sits atop his throne of green
Face painted with a permanent frown
He screeches at the TV screen
Lies and their consequence
Are no commodities
They used to both be worth two cents
But now we get them free.
Nothing but a group of strangers who play.
By shooting at our our soft, pink layers.
Hitting veins is the American way.
But hitting arteries puts you in our thoughts and prayers.
The orange king with his empty crown
Sits atop his throne of green
Face painted with a permanent frown
He screeches at the TV screen
His finger held over the button,
Weighed down by the pre-diamond industry,
Mistaken the kings for pawns,
To help fuel his fantasy.
Castles built on the shore of industry.
The tide is laced with lye.
Our leaders have the power to kill
Without the power to die.
The orange king with his empty crown
Sits atop his throne of green
Face painted with a permanent frown
He screeches at the TV screen
His finger held over the button,
Weighed down by the pre-diamond industry,
Mistaken the kings for pawns,
To help fuel his fantasy.
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3. |
Mutual Roadkill
02:52
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My mouth and throat cemented shut
The grit on my teeth coats my gut
These webs
These cracks
These parts
My home
We’ve all had a life and I am no exception
Born and lived and died
And you are no exception
But from the dirt I see
The progress of technology
Wrapped in my cocoon of roots
Tombstone signed by the hands of dead children
My mouth and throat cemented shut
The grit on my teeth coats my gut
I need not be released
Just understand when you walk over me
What hides beneath your sidewalk
And writes not in doodles but cryptic predictions
With a body made from white chalk
That preys upon your fearless admissions?
I’m pushing out
I’m breaking free
Can you hear my
fingertips scratching
In the night
I’m only right outside
In the night
Right outside
My mouth and throat cemented shut
The grit on my teeth coats my gut
What hides beneath your sidewalk
And writes not in doodles but cryptic predictions
With a body made from white chalk
That preys upon your fearless admissions?
Look me in the eyes
This smile is not for you
Permanent
One day you’ll wear it too
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4. |
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Head underwater
I look for the sky
My lungs are on fire
I’m fighting the tide
I'm so afraid of the morning I don't wake up
But I'm more afraid of living forever.
I cut off all my hair
But forgot to untie the ribbon.
I mastered the shape you wanted to see
Come from my lips and teeth
I’ve spent so long pretending
To be as happy as you wanted me
Don’t lie about the shame you feel when I say I’m not getting better
Because no matter how hard I work on myself, I’m always disappointed
Rather than smiling like the people with the straightest teeth
I’ve sought a self-portrait, how I think I should be
So no matter how wide, there’s a gap in my smile
The ash in my bones will keep it clean
It’s a life on repeat repeat repeat repeat
If our dreams are only cyclical then where is the progress?
Misconstrued my pyromania for selfishness
The heartless hang empty lockets from their necklaces
So we cried for our mothers
While our fathers fought our wars
We lined the pockets of our brothers
And called our sisters whores
And this is our condition
A chronic shame we bury deep
Make certain it feels ingrained
The guilt must come naturally
If we don’t fear each other
And we don’t hate ourselves
Then we may come together
And make something else
Don’t lie about the shame you feel when I say I’m not getting better
Because no matter how hard I work on myself, I’m always disappointed
Rather than smiling like the people with the straightest teeth
I’ve sought a self-portrait, how I think I should be
So no matter how wide, there’s a gap in my smile
The ash in my bones will keep it clean
It’s a life on repeat repeat repeat repeat
If our dreams are only cyclical then where is the progress?
Misconstrued my pyromania for selfishness
The heartless hang empty lockets from their necklaces
One day we
Will both be
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5. |
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Is it warmest inside the sun, the way its arms might crave a planet to hold.
Supernova
Superficial
Is there a flavor that you’ve craved since birth but never tasted?
It’s the dissonance of the distances that keep me coming back.
We sit atop our tables like a holiday feast
And eat the words we say the least
Bitter and rotten, we try to hide our displeasure
Baked bread but forgot the yeast
You and me
Turned to us and we
And we’ll carve the statues of each other
Because the marble will not believe
The way we think we look
Wheeling down the wooden paths
The brakes weren’t cut
We just didn't care
They labelled us contagions
Hands dragging nooses behind us
Like tails between our legs
Memorials of webs lost to a dust rag
Crack open the urn and lay out the lines
Honor the dead by consuming the remains
We fed them to the fire
Now the fire feeds us
Arid, my skin has cracked and broken
A glass shattering beneath the open sun
Maintaining my borders
Maintaining my fences
Maintaining my isolation
The only way to look over
Is to look down
I want nothing more than to find you
But what will I see when I do?
Are you still broken?
Is some assembly required?
All the roads point away from you
But the river washes me home.
I broke my teeth on the gravel in your driveway
Trying to dull the edge that came from your words.
Here I stand
Take your best shot
You may hold me down
With the talons and tethers you were assigned
But you will never break this
All of these wounds are self-inflicted
You will never know the pleasure
You will never know
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6. |
Johnny's My Best Friend
05:31
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Spider with four legs
Red-bellied
It sank in its fangs as I thumbed the scars under your eyes
And you told the stories of the beast
That tasted you before you had flavor.
Stopping and dwelling
On every word that was said
And making me question
The contents of my bed
Eyes forward
Hands at my sides
Be a good soldier
Don’t break rank
These walls can’t be breached
If we maintain the strength of numbers
Maintain the strength of years
Fingers in throat, I purge myself of . . .
Stopping and dwelling
On every word that was said
And making me question
The contents of my bed
We were just two inconsistencies, too afraid to abandon the familiar.
So I tricked myself into thinking you owed me something
Made myself believe nothing changed over time
Remember when you puked in your lap
From your breakfast of smoke and pills
Drove home and crawled into bed
And asked me to cure your ills
I brushed the powder from your hair
And whispered as quietly as I could
“You called me to come, does this mean you love me, too?”
“No, you’re just the only one who would.”
And when you finally snuck out the back
And waved good-bye to what could have been
And stopped being what I hoped could happen
And became an, "I remember when."
Opportunity knocked
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7. |
Pluck!
04:28
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Commune, growing, side by side, one for all.
Bonded by burden and responsibility,
years spent in pattern,
when one should fall,
another will rise.
When times were worst we stood firm
and held up the weight of the world.
Strength in numbers bound us closer as one,
In unity.
Then, a change. A shadow. A beast. A claw comes forth.
Hesitates, we knew not why.
It strikes, it had taken aim.
One of us taken hold.
Their tight grip was broken and sent screaming into the sky.
Those closest to them, fear had left them frozen,
Only could reach out and cry.
Another victim chosen, seemingly at random,
All that could be thought was why.
It felt like hours to watch them suffer,
How am I still here? Our numbers have narrowed,
So much, it's so wrong, unjust, and cruel.
What have we done to deserve this fate.
I could not imagine why I was not chosen,
How I had been spared from this.
Was I set aside for when the thing returns,
or was I left as someone better?
Who had the right to choose?
What had set us apart?
If the aftermath had answers,
I could not bear to search for,
The pain and loss too much to take.
Those closest to them, fear had left them frozen,
Only could reach out and cry.
Another victim chosen, seemingly at random,
All that could be thought was why.
In due time the beast came back for us.
One by one uproot the ones we love.
Somehow I remain a witness.
Pluck!
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8. |
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The foxes are screaming
Our society is saturated and ugly
But they’re focusing too much on the fish
And hide what they don't want us to see
Claim first in a race
Just have to pledge your allegiance
Well we’re drawing the line
With our deplorable achievements
Join the prison industrial complex
Innocent incarcerated, a quota met
The thirteenth freed those enslaved
But the convicted can work without a check
The red white and black’s not the red white and blue
If you’re coming for them then we’re coming for you
They told you the lies, you believed they were true
Prepare for the many to stand with the few
And so we live in a world where people are condemned
Not for their hateful speech, but for the color of their skin
So when Nazis march in the streets they’re given police escorts
But the counter-protesters are gathered together and arrested
There’s a misplaced idea of equality
Where we are only the same if you may declare it
From high above
The red white and black’s not the red white and blue
If you’re coming for them then we’re coming for you
They told you the lies, you believed they were true
Prepare for the many to stand with the few
Lady liberty’s blood isn’t blue but grey
Lobbyists investing in a 401kkk
Place me in a system
Then erase me from its means
Force me in a corner
No one’s allowed to leave
Protests drowned with crocodile tear gas
Even if you don’t have black skin
Fight until you have black eyes
And no matter how many black lists
Don’t stop until those black lives
Matter
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9. |
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Places I used to go where you would be the only one I’d know. I doubt I’ve crossed your mind these last few years. I doubt anyone really remembers. I made too many appointments that I cancelled last minute. I have ruined this. I have sabotaged myself and now I’m staring at an empty glass. They say that everything will be fine. Maybe it’s worth believing, but I can’t keep lying to myself.
The hole in my heart I use to pour blood
Into the glasses of the ones I love
And tell them to drink the wine I make
Only as long as I keep breathing
I live life dwelling on yesterday
Maybe I will forget it tomorrow
Shadowboxing in a hall of mirrors
The walls lined with portraits of children
Smiling for all the wrong reasons
I’m striking matches and throwing them
Into the hair of the people around me
And hoping one of them catches
I can’t believe a thing I don’t see with my own eyes
I can’t believe in me
The lights in the attic may be on
But that does not stop the house from burning me up
So when they tell me happiness,
Well, it doesn’t cost a thing
How come when I search for it
I find only misery is free?
So when they tell me happiness,
Well, it doesn’t cost a thing
How come when I search for it
I only find misery is free?
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Patrick D. Hogan Fresno, California
The musical attempts of Patrick D. Hogan & co.
PlasticBag FaceMask-
ChaosDeathMath
Time Bomb- HeavyUglyMath
:)Bookburner!- HeavyUglyMath with a different vocalist
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